
Being an Advocate
The most difficult transition for me was moving from being a victim to beginning to think of myself as a survivor, a person of strength and courage. After a few more years of healing, I began to understand that I could actually be an advocate for myself and indeed, for others as well. This has been a huge transformation in my life and it is a good thing for anyone to do, to move beyond your own pain, to fully taking care of yourself and going even further - to care about what happens to other people as well.
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I will be dong research and adding to this page. I welcome insights you may have! Just write to: fredaemmons@gmail.com and share them with me; I will add your thoughts into this page.
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Let's plunge in to the world of advocacy!
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Advocacy is simply offering independent support to one who doesn't feel they are being heard, to ensure they are taken seriously, their rights are respected, as well as assisting people to find information, services, and compassionate care for their needs. This is a tall order; I have realized that I am not able physically or emotionally, to take on the needs of everyone who is suffering. Therefore, I have learned to balance what I am able to do in small steps, to continue to be an advocate to the best of my ability.​
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Why do people need someone to advocate for them?
When I was young, I had no comprehension of how to do the things most children learn in a healthy home. I didn’t learn about personal cleanliness, or getting along with others; I was surviving. Daily violence, even becoming a part of that violence, was my existence. I had two childhood friends who were my friends, spending entire days with me in a safe place. One of them, merely a young teen, was my advocate in such a way that it changed my life. She talked with school teachers, counselors, and even the principal about an idea to help me to be safe. She then asked her mother, who agreed. She invited me to live with her, which I did for 1 ½ years. It was the first time in my life that I lived in a home without violence.
Many people have other issues in their lives that make it difficult to navigate life. They may have physical limitations, such as blindness, inability to walk, or inability to understand fully what their needs are and how to get them fulfilled. Issues of violence and abuse demean a person to such a horrible extent that often they do not feel worthy of pursuing good things. It is easy to give up when you have suffered severe trauma. In addition, individuals who have chosen alcohol, drugs, sex, or many other ways to ease their pain may need someone who can see beyond addictions to the deeper truth, the intrinsic value of the person.
I was thinking about wellness today and a new concept came to mind. Wellness is really about caring for yourself, no matter if in pain or feeling great, enough... that you are able to consider how others around you are feeling. A major portion of my life was just about making sure I was OK and I had very little energy, or the inclination, to even think about anyone else. I like this new feeling of wellness that incorporates so much more of life, relationships, and love.
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The first step is to advocate for yourself. This means:
1. Valuing yourself.
2. Identifying your needs.
3. Finding ways to meet those needs.
4. Reaching further to identify what you enjoy.
5. Stepping out to do those things you enjoy.
6. Evaluating if you have a heart to help others, or if you need more time for your own healing and self-care.
7. If the timing is right, identify what level and field you would like to help others, such as​
a) Friendship
b) Educational assistance
c) Professional advocacy
1) General, or broad-range
2) Mental health assisting
3) Medical health assisting
4) Disability advocacy
5) Domestic violence, sex trafficking, or physical/sexual child abuse
6) Legal advocacy
Because I have survived long-term physical and sexual abuse, I learned more about myself during the season of identifying the level of my advocacy. I completed 2 years of a 3 year Counselor Training Program; I learned that in the process of being a counselor, I would be easily triggered by the issues that others brought to the counseling office. I found it extremely difficult to avoid depression and realized it would be a part of my continuing self-care to choose the milder level of friendship for the advocacy that works best for me. Several things have confirmed that choice. I am very blessed to offer my devotional for healing from abuse and trauma, Flame of Healing, than talking through the deep issues of trauma individually. I am able to take care of myself emotionally each day, but any higher level of advocacy would be problematic for me. Over the years, I have had individuals come into my life and on a friendship basis, have been able to help many of them. Sometimes, it was having lunch together every week for a year or so, just encouraging steps of healing and positive choices. Other times, it was just being a friend. Even having this website is a step of advocacy.
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The next step in the process of advocacy is becoming aware of resources that are available to you to become educated in your chosen area of advocacy. This may take time to research more in-depth, but I have a beginning list of various choices:
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Child Abuse - https://stopchildexploitation.org/
Domestic Violence - https://resources.noodle.com/articles/how-to-become-a-domestic-violence-advocate-or-counselor/
How to Become an Advocate - https://www.thewellproject.org/hiv-information/how-be-advocate-yourself-and-others
People with Disabilities - https://alsoweb.org/nonprofit-blog/8-ways-to-be-an-advocate-for-people-with-disabilities/
​Legal Advocate - https://www.onelegal.com/blog/what-to-know-about-being-a-legal-advocate/
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